


let the not-quite-dead-yet reader society commence

by schrodingers__cat



Category: Linked Universe - Fandom, The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms
Genre: Gen, I guess this is a modern au?, Therefore, not-so-secret secret book club!, the only real plot is the feud between the nqdyrs and the (imperial march music) biography corner, they use real books so i suppose so, this is entirely discord's fault, we came to the conclusion that all of them are just huge nerds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-24 23:53:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22226596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/schrodingers__cat/pseuds/schrodingers__cat
Summary: “What are you two doing back here?” Four raises a brow. Legend and Hyrule are sitting on the floor against the shelves in the farthest corner of the library, having a fierce, whispered debate surrounded by a literal pile of thick books. He’s pretty sure he has cause for concern.“Shhh!” Legend hushes him harshly. “Go away!”
Relationships: Everyone & Everyone
Comments: 48
Kudos: 248





	let the not-quite-dead-yet reader society commence

It starts with Legend and Hyrule. 

Hyrule is reading. The book is so enormous in his hands that nearly everyone else is practically gawking at it, but Time makes them all leave it be.

Legend, never one to be told what to do, goes and starts reading over his shoulder.

“ _Lord of the Rings_ , huh?”

“Yep. Deluxe edition, all three books in one.” Hyrule looks up at Legend, away from his book, and waits for the inevitable teasing. 

“...Ever read _The Silmarillion_?” Legend flops down on the grass next to him. 

“Of course,” Hyrule says, surprised.

“Fëanor was the absolute worst, wasn’t he?”

\----------

It starts with Tolkien, and then Dennis L. McKiernan--

“ _The Iron Tower_ practically plagiarizes _Lord of the Rings_ , but the later Mithgar novels are really interesting.”

\--and Terry Brooks--

“He started off so strong, but he forgot his own lore in his desperation to make a dramatic story, and it was exhausting by the end!”

\--and R. A. Salvatore--

“Artemis Entreri is one of the best fantasy villains out there, I’ll tell you that.”

“Absolutely he was not, he was an overdramatic evil copy of Drizzt--don’t give me that look.”

And it spiraled from there, as things tend to do.

\----------

“What in Hyrule are they whispering about?” Warriors asks over dinner, mouth full of mashed potatoes.

“Leave them be,” Time sighs, even as he glances over. Hyrule and Legend are bent over something Hyrule was holding under the table, both of them muttering. Occasionally one would laugh, startling everyone else, or it would even seem like they were arguing--but not once did they ever look up. 

Twilight pulls Wild back up from where he was trying to investigate from under the table, not once breaking eye contact with his food.

\----------

The far back corner of the library finds itself populated. It’s the parenting section, which is unfortunate, but it’s perfectly hidden in shadow and blocked from the rest of the library by the high shelves of the foreign language and culture section.

“Alright,” Legend whispers. “Meeting One of the Not-Quite-Dead-Yet Reader Society. Here to discuss: science fiction. Who would like to go first?”

Hyrule, the only other member, raises his hand.

“Yes, Hyrule?”

“I think it’s utter crap.”

“You disgust me. Frank Herbert’s _Dune_ is a work of art, and Jim Butcher--”

“Should have stuck with urban fantasy.”

Legend gasps, scandalized.

“I should put you on probation for that!”

“I’m co-president. I should put _you_ on probation,” Hyrule retorts.

“One day, I will get you to read _Dune_. Mark my words.”

“Unlikely.”

\----------

“What are you two doing back here?” Four raises a brow. Legend and Hyrule are sitting on the floor against the shelves in the farthest corner of the library, having a fierce, whispered debate surrounded by a literal pile of thick books. He’s pretty sure he has cause for concern. 

“Shhh!” Legend hushes him harshly. “Go away!”

“Well now I’m curious,” Four sits down next to them. “What’s going on here?”

Legend and Hyrule exchange glances.

“...It’s our secret book club,” Hyrule tells him reluctantly. 

“Huh,” Four tilts his head. “Nice. Can I join?” 

“What do you read?”

“Historical fiction, mostly. And older realistic fiction, classics, that kind of thing. I like Jane Austen? Charles Dickins?”

Legend narrows his eyes. Hyrule frowns. Four glances over to their book stacks, piled high with different fantasy series and the occasional science fiction novel. 

“Vio likes sci-fi,” he offers. 

“Has he read _Dune_?” Legend suddenly looks interested. 

“Twice.”

Legend and Hyrule exchange unreadable glances once more.

“Fine,” Legend says, “you’re in.” 

“But you’re on thin ice,” Hyurle warns. They shake hands, and Four swears an oath to secrecy--and an oath to himself that he would make both of them read _Oliver Twist_ if it was the last thing he did.

\----------

“I read, ah, biographies and that sort,” Time says, pulling _The Diary of a Young Girl_ and _Churchill: A Life_ out from behind his back. “But not much else, to be frank.” 

The co-presidents of the Not-Quite-Dead-Yet Reader Society exchange horrified glances at their newest prospective member. 

“Absolutely not. Disgusting. Take your horrendous nonfiction and leave this place before we make you,” Legend glares. The effect is somewhat diminished by the fact that he’s sitting on the floor in the corner of a library. 

Time looks to Hyrule, who’s eyeing him impassively.

“Leave,” he says coolly. Four has to hold back a laugh, which he muffles with a cough--trying desperately to keep up the serious atmosphere that Legend and Hyrule were exuding. 

Time leaves, muttering about “kids these days” and how they lack “respect for those who came before them,” but not before picking up a _Big Head Biography_ on Babe Ruth. 

\----------

“Can I join?” Sky asks shyly. He’d gone to the parenting section to see if there was anything on taking care of enormous birds, but ended up apparently interrupting an incredibly serious meeting of the Not-Quite-Dead-Yet Reader Society. 

“What’s the last thing you’ve read?” Hyrule asks curiously, arm resting on about an eighth of the _Dragonlance_ series--maybe twenty four novels--while Legend and Four lean against the other one hundred and sixty-six. 

“Oh, it was incredibly lovely,” Sky whispers, sitting down on the floor in front of them, against the foreign language and culture shelves. “It was about a man and a woman finding love with each other against all odds. It was very beautiful. Hold on, I might be able to find it here.” He excitedly stands and makes his way to the romance shelves. Hyrule and Legend glance at each other skeptically, then at Four, who shrugs. 

Sky returns with an average-sized book, the corners of the paperback cover worn and bent back. He hands it to Legend with a smile. Legend looks it over.

“This is--this is smut, Sky.” Legend is so incredulous that he nearly speaks at a normal volume, and Four quickly hushes him.

“It’s a beautiful romance,” Sky frowns.

“It’s--” Hyrule takes the book from Legend. The cover boasts a shirtless, broad-shouldered man holding a woman showing a distinct amount of skin against him. The title reads: _Forbidden Love by the Sea_. “No, yeah, you’re right. It’s smut.” he tosses it back to Sky. “Meh, whatever. I say he’s in.”

“Fine,” Legend shrugs. Sky clasps his hands together and grins. 

\----------

“I like to read about real people,” Wild says defensively. “What’s so wrong with that?” 

“What’s _wrong_ is that it’s _real_ ,” Legend crosses his arms. “It defeats the escapist purpose of reading for entertainment in the first place.” The other three club members nod in stern agreement. 

“You can join me in my biography corner,” Time whisper-shouts from the opposite corner of the library, in the children’s picture book section. “I found a really cool one on a chef guy you’ll probably like. It even has recipes!”

“Sounds great, I’ll be right over!” Wild whisper-yells back. He scowls at the Not-Quite-Dead-Yet Reader Society, and leaves. He turns around halfway there and mouths _“NERDS.”_ The NQDYRS isn’t particularly bothered. 

\----------

“You can read?” Legend snorts in surprise. 

“Of course I can read,” Warriors pouts. “I read plenty.”

“Oh yeah? Like what?” Legend leans back on all three hundred and six _Forgotten Realms_ books, crossing his arms. “Name a book you’ve read.”

“ _Twilight_.”

“He’s here, too?”

“Shut up. The book. _Twilight_ the book.” Warriors glares--but he looks genuine about the whole thing, so despite Legend’s skepticism, Hyrule gives his co-president a pointed look and nods. 

“Alright, alright, fine. Put your hand on your heart and repeat after me--”

\----------

“All I’m saying is that Edward being attracted to the scent of her blood isn’t really grounds for actual romantic attraction--”

“He’s her soulmate, the scent thing is just symbolic of that--”

“But it sounds like he wants to eat her, Sky, that’s not--”

“It’s totally irrelevant in the later books anyway, and Jacob isn’t exactly much better! He’s clearly aggressive towards her and refuses to admit defeat when she chooses Edward! And what about the Renesmee thing?”

“It was touching! He wanted to protect her, imprinting has multiple connotations besides romance--”

“Would both of you _please_ shut up,” Legend groans, decidedly not in a whisper (as the argument had been). Four hushes him. Warriors and Sky turn their glares from each other onto Legend. 

“That series is not worth discussing,” he mutters. “It’s not even worth reading.”

“They’re books, aren’t they?” Warriors raises a brow. “This is a secret book club. Excluding a form of literature that is considered fiction is against the very spirit of the Not-Quite-Dead-Yet Reader Society.” 

“He’s got a point,” Four shrugs.

“Fine. But just for the record, Bella should call the police and go back to Phoenix with a restraining order.” Legend crosses his arms and pulls out _The Once and Future King_ from behind him, preparing to ignore the rest of the debate. 

“So… that means you’ve read the books?” Hyrule smirks. 

\----------

“Heard there was a secret club in here,” Wind plops down in the parenting section’s corner. “I’m in.”

The NQDYRS, deep in discussion over the merits of paragonal characters, whip their heads around in surprise. 

“It’s... a secret _book_ club,” Four says. 

“Wait, then why’s Warriors here?” 

“Shut up! I read books!”

“Shhh!”

“He does,” Sky pipes up. He’s set up a small fort for himself, held up by the entire _Shannara_ series (helpfully provided by Legend) and covered with his sailcloth. 

“Huh. Nice. Well I’m still in,” Wind grins. “I’d rather be here than the biography corner. I’ve got uhhhh _Percy Jackson_ … oh, I read _Treasure Island_ , that one’s cool.”

“Oooooh, I love that one,” Four says.

“And uhhh… hm. Do comics count?”

“Y’know what? Why the heck not. If _Twilight_ counts, comics count. You’re in.” Legend crosses his arms and nods, very officially. Hyrule reaches forward to shake his hand, and officiate the oath of secrecy.

\----------

Twilight walks into the library with every intention of finding a book, and finds himself in the middle of a war. 

In the parenting section, partially hidden by the foreign language and culture shelves--Hyrule, Legend, Four, Warriors, Sky, and Wind whisper in a huddle, sitting on the ground surrounded by disorganized stacks of eclectically chosen books. In the children’s section, Time and Wild mutter and shoot them glares from behind a much more distinguished wall of their own books, sitting in actual chairs.

Twilight sighs and walks over to the bigger group first. 

“What, exactly, is going on here?’

“Can’t tell ya,” Wind shrugs.

“And why is that?”

“It’s a secret,” Four says with a (definitely false) helpless expression. “We can’t do anything about it.”

“Sorry,” Warriors stands and pats him on the shoulder companionably, not sounding one bit apologetic. Legend and Hyrule say nothing, only staring up at him with impassive expressions.

“Fine then,” Twilight sighs, and goes over to the opposing corner. 

“Did they exile you, too?” Wild whispers darkly. 

“No? I don’t think so, anyway. Exile me from what?” 

“The NQDYRS. Apparently, nonfiction isn’t allowed.” Twilight hasn’t heard Time sound this bitter since the last time he mentioned the moon. 

“The NQ-what-now?” 

“Where have _you_ been?” Wild looks up at him incredulously. 

“Um. Living my life as usual?”

Wild sighs, and Time only shakes his head as though he’s disappointed. 

“I’ll make this easier on you. What kind of books do you read?” Wild crosses his legs and laces his fingers together, elbows resting on the arm of his chair.

“Ones that I need? I came here for a book on nonlinear-interchronological theory, to see if I could figure anything out about this timeline mess.”

“Oh, they’d hate that.” Wild grins, and Time’s own smile mirrors it. “Okay. Answer me this: would you rather join the Not-Quite-Dead-Yet Reader Society and bicker about meaningless worlds and character choices, or join the biography corner and actually read books with a purpose?”

“I guess stay here, then? I just want to read.”

“Good! Welcome to the biography corner. Glad I don’t have to disown you,” Time shakes his hand, and pulls a chair over. He takes out something on Billy the Kid. Wild nods at Twilight, and opens a colorful cookbook of slow cooker meals. 

Shaking his head, Twilight leaves to peruse the scientific shelves. He eventually did sit down in the biography corner, and ignored the dirty looks from the NQDYRS.

\----------

“I’vewrittensomepoetryifanyofyouguyswanttoreaditorsomething but it doesn’t matter actually it’s fine, never mind.” Warriors, who’d stood up in front of his fellow NQDYRS members to give an announcement, quickly sits back down.

“You what?” Hyrule scrunches up his nose in confusion.

“What did you say?” Wind asks.

“You wrote--wait, are you serious?” Four, who is used to fast talkers, looks moderately surprised. 

“I mean--yeah, I am, but it’s not good.” Warriors clutches a few papers closer to his chest.

“Lemme read them.” Four holds out his hand, and Warriors slowly hands over the poems like they’re a live bomb. After a tense second, Four looks up. 

“Hey, these are actually really good. Guys, look at this.”

They pass around the poems, and everyone agrees that shockingly, they are actually good. Warriors eventually owns up to them, even giving a dramatic reading of his favorite.

Legend, who’d had to admit that the poems were “okay, I guess,” looks out at the rest of the club members. 

“Any other confessions?” he asks drily.

Everyone looks around at each other, somewhat suspiciously. 

Slowly, Hyrule pulls out from underneath his favorite copies of the _Lord of the Rings_ trilogy--a collection of Edgar Allan Poe short stories, and _Dracula_ by Bram Stoker. 

“I like horror,” he whispers.

“ _Et tu Brute?_ Even you, my brother, my friend?” Legend turns to him with his hand on his heart and betrayal in his eyes. 

“It’s to cope,” Hyrule defends his own honor. “You have seen the horrors that dwell in my world.”

“It’s fine,” Legend says with a theatrical sniff. “It’s still fiction so it’s _fine_ , despite your traitorous actions.”

“I swear,” Hyrule places his hand on Legend’s shoulder solemnly, “I keep nothing from you now, and will never keep such a thing from you again.”

“I will hold you to that promise,” Legend whispers.

The rest of the club applauds. 

\----------

The Not-Quite-Dead-Yet Reader Society receives a visitor.

“I have to come clean about something,” Twilight hangs his head.

“What could a fool from the biography corner possibly have to offer us?” Warriors glares, but Legend holds up a hand.

“Let him speak,” Hyrule nods.

“I don’t only read useful books. When I’m…” he breaks off and looks around, but there is no escape to be found. “When I’m upset, I… I read…”

“It’s okay,” Wind places a hand on his arm.

“...I read sad poetry.”

There’s a beat of silence.

“Oh wow,” Legend snorts.

“Yeah, that’s just kind of a thing at this point,” Four shrugs.

“We all do, you’re fine,” Sky smiles gently.

“Oh. Okay. Neat.” Twilight glances about, pretty awkwardly. 

“You’re emo enough, we could smell it on you,” Warriors smirks. 

“What do I do now?” Twilight frowns. “I can’t really be a part of the biography corner anymore, but I definitely read too much nonfiction for the NQDYRS.”

The Not-Quite-Dead-Yet Reader Society has to think about that one.

“Well…” Legend says, drawing out the word. “We could always use a double agent.”

Twilight pauses. Cocks his head thoughtfully.

“I”m in,” he decides. 

\----------

“What is going on with those boys?” The older librarian asks. Her younger counterpart looks up from her laptop and shrugs

“Some sort of family feud, I’d imagine. But they clean up when they’re done, so I don’t think it matters.”

“I suppose,” the older sighs. “But it is still very odd.”

“ _They’re_ odd.”

“You’ve got me there, dearie.”

**Author's Note:**

> the lu discord is full of lovely, lovely people and I personally dedicate whatever this fic is to the wonderful fellows in general headcanons who made it possible. this is your fault, and thank you


End file.
